“Here’s the evening traffic report. Things are good right up until exit 13 where you will be slowed to an annoying crawl by a couple of selfish dolts who decided to get in an accident, right when you need to get home. Not to worry, the authorities are quickly working on clearing out the rubble and human remains so it doesn’t look like you’ll miss your favorite episode of Will and Grace after all. Tune in tomorrow morning to find out who’s lives will be forever altered at the expense of your convenience.”

Sigh.

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