Dear God,

It’s me again. I know I can be a pest but I’m confused about some things. I’m hoping you’ll write back, just this once, to clear these things up.

I’m not happy and you and I both know it, yet you’ve seen fit to hand me a situation I would like to change, but shouldn’t for some time. You’re asking me to make sacrifices for others. Is this a test? Because if it is, I’m just wondering how many I have to take in one lifetime?

That leads me to the next question. As far as I can tell, you approve of decent people. You know, people who try to be honest, loyal, and hardworking. People who stop at the red light even when it’s the middle of the night and NO ONE ELSE IS AROUND. Yet, I’ve noticed this tendency for you to throw more tests at those who are really, really trying. I don’t want to make a case for the devil here, but I can’t help but notice how those who have made a pact with the flaming red dude seem to smile a lot more these days than those of us taking test after test. By the way, I’ve never gotten an official score, but I’m quite sure I’ve passed every test you’ve given me. Do you think you could send the results with your reply?

I’m not complaining. Honest. I know you could have given me much harder tests. Like when you gave that woman cancer who was just about to realize her lifelong dream of finishing her college degree. She died one semester too early. Yeah, that was harsh. I’m glad you didn’t give me that test.

My friend tells me I just have to get more humble before grace will come into my life. Funny. He’s far from humble much of the time yet you don’t test him too much. He’s plenty graced.

I’m just wondering God, what is the point of it all? I wonder how you sit up there, wherever there is, and can watch while some children are born into poverty while others are born into privilege? How you can stand to see some children abused while others are spoiled? Doesn’t it pain your benevolent heart to see some of your children endlessly struggle while others start out ahead?

Maybe I’m just not being faithful enough. That is what my friend, born into privilege, would tell me. Is that what you would tell me too? I don’t know, because I haven’t heard from you yet.

Pardon my boldness. I’m sure on a better day I would see a blessing in every day my roof doesn’t cave in. I hope you understand, God, why this would all be so confusing to a mere mortal. It’s a big world and I need some answers down here.

Sincerely,

Velvet Verbosity

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