Velvet Verbosity

You’ll remember a couple of weeks back that I was interviewed as part of Neilochka’s Great Interview Experiment.  (Carla interviewed me, and if you haven’t read it yet, go here.)  In turn, I got to do an interview too!   Internet, meet  Gathering Dust.

You started your blog with the lyrics from a David Gray song.  I’m a huge David Gray fan, by the way.  Tell us more about why you chose to open your blog that way, and why that particular song.  Obviously, there is also some connection between the song and the name of your blog.  Explain that too.

Well, first off, ‘Gathering Dust’ is the closest thing I have to a favorite song. I love DG’s voice, and I love the music. It always makes me feel like it’s late fall, almost winter, where the trees are bare and the nights are starting to get really cold. I have a picture in my head of a full moon over a lake, and there is frost on the ground…It’s a very cold song, but I think there is a little light of hope in it. Just the title of the song says so much about who I am - when I started this blog, I was starting to get antsy with my life. I didn’t have a lot of direction, and I felt stuck where I was - hence ‘Gathering Dust’. The particular line I used in my header, ‘I don’t know where I’m wanting to be, I just know I have to be there alone’ says that I’m on my own journey, and I have to get where I’m going myself - no one else can swoop in and rescue me. The first two verses of the song hit home with me. It’s all about discovering who you are and where you’re going, and not being able to be with someone else until you know who you are. It’s sad, but also uplifting, in a way. And I feel like that is how my life is - not always sunshine and rainbows, but always hopeful, always looking for something better.

I like to think everyone blogs for different reasons, and I think that’s somewhat true, but I also think there’s a lot of commonality in the reasons.  To satisfy my curiosity, tell us what compelled you to start blogging, and what keeps you in it.

This one is pretty easy. My sister (http://saradoxical.blogspot.com/) told me to. And I keep doing it because if I didn’t write, I wouldn’t survive. I might not be writing the Great American Novel anytime soon, but I can entertain people and touch people through my words, and I think that’s all anyone wants.

I see from your blog that you play softball.  That’s awesome!  What made you choose this sport, and what was your funniest softball moment?

I LOVE softball! I got into it because we have a team at work, and the first year I was there, they needed more girls, so I volunteered. I was awful. Couldn’t hit, couldn’t throw, couldn’t catch, couldn’t run. Three years later I’m consistently mediocre, and getting better every game, so I’ll take that! I love the team spirit we have, and I’ve gotten to be good friends with some of my coworkers because of it.

Funniest moment….hmmm…Either my first practice the first year, when I got hit in the face with a softball and couldn’t stop laughing while everyone else was freaking out, or this past season, when I tried to round second base and completely wiped out, and ended up [probably] scarred for life. I’m not sure what it says about me that my funny moments involve semi-serious injury

You share on your blog that you have Rheumatoid Arthritis.  I know a little about this from a family member, and I understand it can be quite painful.  However, most chronic illness also has a deep impact on our psyche.  How has living with RA affected you emotionally?  Has anything positive come from it, any wisdom that you would like to share?

Whew. I could go on and on about this (in fact, I have - I have an entire post about it somewhere in the archives) but then this could end up being a book. I’ll try to keep it short.

When I was first diagnosed, I went from scared to depressed to scared to pissed off to scared to accepting to scared….Fear is the biggest thing. I don’t know how RA is going to end up affecting me in the future. Yes, I can
try to control it, and mask the symptoms, but it’s always there, and something I’ll deal with the rest of my life. There is a lot of uncertainty - will I be able to have kids, will I be able to keep full function of my hands, will I be able to walk thirty years down the line? I don’t know, and no doctor can give me a real answer. So it’s scary and I can’t do anything about it. I’m not someone who is used to being afraid of things, so learning to live with that fear has been a challenge.

But on the positive note - I’ve learned how strong I am. I’ve seen how my friends and family pull around me. I have witnessed generosity with donations to charity walks I do, I have been called an inspiration by loved ones and strangers alike. I’ve grown up. I’ve learned that I can’t hide behind fear and I can’t just let life pass me by because of what might happen when I’m forty. Dealing with RA has turned me into a stronger, more independent woman than I could have imagined. And while I wouldn’t say that this made developing a chronic illness worth it, it does make it easier to digest.

You’ve returned to college.   First off, congratulations!   You seem to have the courage to continually reinvent yourself and your life.  Anything you’d like to tell the blogosphere about that?

Working fulltime and going to school fulltime has made me crazy. I’m insanely busy and I don’t sleep enough. The end will justify the means, but right now? I’m just trying to make it day to day. Going back to school wasn’t something I ever really planned on doing, but I’m glad I am. I’ll be even happier about it when it’s done. Ask me this question again in two years

A lot of bloggers seem to blog just about every details of their lives, but everyone draws the line somewhere.  What are three things you would never blog about?

Well, first of all, I wouldn’t say ‘never’, but just ‘right now’. My mind could change on these (although the first one isn’t likely as long as my mother is reading!)

1 - Anything more than bare bones on my love life. I’m a fairly private person where that area is concerned, and while I’m sure if I get into something serious someday, I’ll blog about it, right now I don’t need to share the details of my escapades. And I’m sure my mom doesn’t want to read them

2 - Work complaints. We all have bad days, but I don’t want to say something bad about my job and then find out the boss read it. I’ve learned that some things are better saved for personal email. And not broadcast over the internet.

I can’t think of a third one. I’m pretty open, and I’m sure if someone asked, I would tell them anything.

Who are three people you wish would read your blog that aren’t, and why?  Who are three people you would never want to read your blog, and why not?

Well, I’ll answer the second one first, because it’s easy. There’s no one I can think of at this point who I wouldn’t want to read my blog. It’s on the internet for a reason - otherwise I’d just keep it all private.

As far people who I wish would? For all I know, they might already…But I would just say anyone who thinks they know me, because chances are, they really don’t. It’s easier for me to be honest on paper than out loud, so pretty much anyone in my life could benefit from reading what I’m really thinking.

You like to read a lot.  What book have you read in the last year that you would recommend?  Tell us about it and why we should read it.

The Principles of Financial Accounting….oh wait, probably not a school book…Hmmm. OH! ‘History of Love’ by Nichole Krauss. I’m actually re-reading this right now. I got it as a Christmas present last year and LOVED it. It’s a story where things are intertwined and tied together and you’re getting to know multiple characters and feel for them, and something about the narration just gets me. It’s a beautiful story, sad and loving and hopeful all at the same time. I should probably come back to this question after I re-read so I can be more thorough, but oh well. Read it anyways! Amazing book!

You mentioned developing a passion for photography that was cut short due to RA.  Do you still dabble in photography?  Any you would like to share?

I haven’t been doing much recently, as I’ve been so busy, but eventually I’ll get a website up and some pictures scanned in. If I ever get a semester with some free time, I’m thinking about auditing a basic photo class just so I can get back in the darkroom - that’s something I love more than anything. There’s a certain piece to working in a darkroom - everything else disappears, except that certain square inch of a photograph that you want to burn in perfectly. It’s my happy place, and one day I’ll hopefully have one in the house I don’t own yet

I think the last question should be fun.  So, when you want to let loose, what is your (legal) poison of choice?  Your favorite drink?  Dancing in the dark?  What?

Rum and Diet Coke and 80s music - cute heels, a lowcut shirt, and dancing all night with some of my girls!  Or, for when I’m feeling more low-key (like the last couple of weeks) - Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk, comfy sweatpants, and the West Wing complete series DVD set….now that’s my own slice of heavenly relaxation!

With love,

Day 14 of NaBloPoMo.  It’s Saturday, and I’m not much in the mood for writing on Saturdays.  Therefore, this is a good day to introduce you to a new blogger who I met through Neilochka’s Great Interview Experiment.  Aren’t you lucky?  Actually, you are lucky, because the woman who was set to interview me is as sweet and delightful and interesting as I could have hoped for.

I was tickled when she sent me the interview questions, in exactly 100 Words.  Girl after my own heart, I tell ya.  Internet, I give you Carla from Down Under, and our interview.   Once you’re done with the interview, be sure to check out Carla’s other posts.  She writes with a raw beauty.  Bisou, Carla!

With love,

Who are these, my teachers? Not who I expected them to be. Not who anyone expected them to be. Lessons learned on love from a triad and a single journeying man. Lessons learned on parenting from a teenage boy. Lessons learned on patience from an angry, venomous girl. Lessons learned on forgiveness from a hypocrite. Lessons on grief and softening from a stranger let in. Lessons learned from the paradoxes of life, from the in-betweens and opposites and unexpected hidden corners. Who are these, my strange and wonderful teachers? The greatest lesson? Everyone has something to teach. Be still. Listen.

Last week’s 100 Word challenge was “Lessons”. The greatest gift to me in giving this challenge is getting a window into other’s thoughts and view on the world, and how that differs from my own.

Lceel uses a comical and light approach as he tells about early lessons in parenting.

Home from the hospital just a few days before. Our son, named after me. He was so small and helpless. And Annie was nursing. They would lay abed. And she would suckle him. And I would be shushed to silence. I was seldom there when he was awake. I ached to hold him, to touch him, to bond with him. Finally came the call. “Will you change him?” At last. My time with him, alone. Diaper off. I turn away for a moment, reaching for a diaper. I feel warm wet falling on me. Just one of life’s little lessons.

Secret Agent Mama (aka One Cool Secret Agent Mama) uses poetry to express frustration over others’ judgement on the important decision she has made for her children and family to homeschool:

You’re going to what?
Why would you want to do that?
I’d just send them to school,
Then you could get a job.
You know it’s going to be hard, right?
What about friends?
What about riding the school bus?
The cafeteria?
I think you’re being cruel.
Why on earth?

Do I care what you think?
How crazy you think I am?
Decisions not made lightly;
Life’s all about choices.
We’ve chosen what we feel is best for us.
Lessons learned, here at home,
Are applied everywhere, all the time.
Cruel, wrong, strange, or imposing?
It’s your judgment that is!

So, let’s see, what books do I have around here…ok, just looking over at my bookshelf without opening a book this time, the challenge for Thursday is:

Atonement

Happy writing, and please do pass the challenge on! Tell your friends, your neighbors, your bloggily buds. Oh, and news! Blog O’ The Week, One Sentence, has linked to the 100 Word Challenge on their About page. Onesentence.org is a place where you are challenged to sum something up with one sentence. There are no specific challenges, just whatever is on your mind. The majority are somewhat confessional, giving it a Post Secret feel, only not so heartwrenching.

This gal was one of my first and only readers back in the day.   That day was a year ago, and it was a Wednesday.  Or maybe it was a Tuesday.  Maybe it was a someday.  Anyway, she doesn’t blog often, only when she’s really got something to say.  It always packs a punch, tugs at the heart, makes you go hmmm, or haha, or “oh me too!” or “I wish I could fecking write like that”.

But I Digress…

Tell her Velvet Verbosity sent you.

Some things you just don’t want to know.

And don’t forget this week’s 100 Word Challenge. It’s not too late and don’t you want the opportunity to pick the next great challenge? Oh, I dunno. 100 Words on Ennui, or 100 Words on Belly Button Lint, or 100 Words on Small Things? It’s up to Larmsterpoet this week, join the challenge here.

I asked this question of some fellow bloggers over on the NaBloPoMo forum. Like, should I tell you, dear readers, that I blog in a bowtie and striped socks…only? Or that this morning I ate a double whopper from three days ago for breakfast? Or that I live in MaryMark Pennsylvania at 204 Iron Rod Lane? Or that my boyfriend likes to wear my bowtie and striped socks on Wednesdays at 7:32 P.M.?

Just how much should I tell a bunch of strangers, any of whom could be my next great stalker?

The truth is, I think I already have some answers to this question. And the answer depends largely on what you want to accomplish by blogging.

If you want to have an audience, a real audience, there are three known formulas that seem to work. 1. Have a topic or theme, and be an authority on it. 2. Get personal. 3. Be scathingly funny. It goes without saying that all three require good writing. And good writing combined with all three of the above is bound to be a hit.

Think about it. From a reader’s perspective, you might catch them once, but what will keep them coming back is either a desire to know more about your topic, or a desire to know more about the writer. Funny is just funny and people always come back for funny.

Blogs are a form of media and it stands to reason that what has always worked through history will work for blogs. Take television. The general categories of choice are news (informational television), drama (including the bane of our century, Reality TV), and comedy. You could break it down further, like into cartoons and music television, but these really still fall into the three larger categories.

Anyone can blog, and everyone seems to. However, not everyone is being read. (Whether everyone should be blogging is a topic for another post.) Gaining an audience requires emerging, through strong writing, into one of the general media categories. Establish yourself as an authority on something, reveal the drama of your own life, or take comedy lessons from Citizen of the Month. He’s even mastered how to harness all three here. (Look, it’s about his ex, her bra, and how he mastered the art of unhooking said bra so just go read it. You’ll learn, you’ll love, you’ll laugh.)

Myself? I don’t care if I have an audience. But if you do happen to be reading, perhaps you could say hello? You know, just a little comment so that I can see you’ve been here? Not that I care or anything.

I guess I’m still in Halloween mode. Maybe it’s because I have one more party to go to. If I’m going to be accurate here it’s a Dia de los Muertos - Day of the Dead party. And Dia de los Muertos is pretty different from Halloween in history and tradition.

Dia de los Muertos, a primarily Mexican holiday, originated with the Aztecs who believed death was not to be feared as it signified the entrance to higher consciousness. Higher consciousness…Heaven? What I want to know is why all the good stuff happens after we die? What is UP with that?

Get back to me on that.

For now, for your entertainment, check out the Skull-A-Day blog.

I offer you this link http://furyouhin.blogspot.com/ even though it comes at the risk that I will lose all (7) of my regular readers.

Is there a publisher in the house?