Why?
Lately my blog has taken a decided and sudden turn toward feminist issues. Let me explain. Some recent exposure to men who objectify women without batting an eyelash and as long as it’s not anyone they know, and “no one is getting hurt”, has compelled me to look for the evidence that this justification is ludicrous. Not only have I found sufficient evidence to confirm my gut feelings, I’ve found enough evidence to make my gut sick.Second, raising two children in a culture that is becoming rapidly disconnected as fast as it is connecting, and becoming increasingly media driven and pornified, I am reaching a point of ORANGE ALERT.
In my research, I found Sparkle Matrix, who has opened my eyes to issues I wasn’t even thinking about. Take this rape campaign poster that clearly blames the victim. Horrified as I was, still, I thought Sparkle Matrix’s interpretation of the intention was overkill. After all, Britain was trying right? Maybe their attempts were slightly misguided, but change and progress is a slow and painful process. Lighten up already! At least there WERE posters being made.
Then, because it was on my mind, I brought this up to a few people, and I was a little dismayed that they could not immediately see the connection between the message and victim blaming.
Still, I thought, we’re making progress, right? No. Not enough.
We’re not making enough progress when Harriet McCormick, a bright young woman who lives in the very same country that produced those progressive anti-rape posters, made the mistake of getting drunk and blamed herself, suffered for almost a year, before finally taking her own life. This woman would have contributed great things to society. She was already on her way to doing so. Instead, she took her life because she couldn’t live with the guilt, the trauma, or the conflict between the two. I wonder what her rapist is doing today? I wonder if he is giving his life in service to others? I wonder if he is racked with guilt? Somehow, sadly, I doubt it.
The thing is, Sparkle Matrix and others are right on this issue, and I see that now. Maybe one out of three rapes happen when a woman is drunk, but three out of three happen when there is a rapist involved. Why focus on the 1 out of 3? Why focus solely on the woman’s responsibility in the possibility that she will be raped? Why not focus on teaching men that rape is just wrong. It’s wrong. It’s always wrong. And you know what else? Women do NOT fantasize about being raped. Not the way real rape happens, but I will talk about that in another post. The reality is, it’s more like this.
What’s more, I did a Google search after reading the story of this girl to find the post I had read about the rape campaign posters. I found this one instead. Maybe I’m just being overly sensitive after reading about a young woman throwing herself off a bridge and plummeting to her death, leaving behind family and friends to pick up the pieces. Maybe I’m just being a silly woman. Maybe I’m just being an angry feminist.
Or maybe this ad is using sex to sell anti-rape. How else would you get a guy to look at it, right? “Must put a woman in panties on poster”.
When people think it’s no big deal that anti-rape campaigns use such misguided messages as these, please read her story. Read it over and over until you are sick with the idea that the message in our culture is still to blame the victim, and to still use women’s bodies to sell everything from deoderant to “please don’t rape us, it hurts”.
People, it is 2008. When the hell are we going to evolve? And women…it is time for the next wave of rebellion. Honest to goddess, it really really is.
Stay tuned for “A Letter to Men”, “A Letter to Boys”, “A Letter to Women”, “A Letter to Girls”. (John B., I’m talking about it.)
And if you’re not angry enough yet, read on here about how a convicted rapist of children was just buried with full military honors. If you are angry, sad, or otherwise moved, please share this, bookmark it, and talk about it.
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8 Comments so far
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I have a difficult time imagining what frame of mind a man has to be in to allow himself to commit rape. I think he needs to be out of his mind. He can’t possibly be in control. And that’s a problem. It isn’t a matter of respect or self-control. It isn’t a matter of social education. It’s a matter of being insane. And as long as that’s the case (granted - it isn’t ALWAYS the case - but I’m speaking of forcible, violent rape here) - as long as rape is a mental health issue, stupid crazy men are going to be doing this to women. I wish I knew how we could make it stop. Short of giving every female a pacifier and a handgun at birth, I don’t know how you make it stop. I really wish I knew - I wish ANYBODY knew.
HI VV - I already said this on the post on Sparkle Matrix, but it’s probably worth repeating here. If you look at the site that the posters come from they’re not actually anti rape posters - It’s an anti ‘binge’ drinking campaign called ‘know your limits’. So the idea of the posters is to frighten women into drinking less by telling them they risk getting raped if they get drunk.
Also - because the poster shows a young woman passed out on the floor, people who see it will assume that the ‘1 in 3 rape victims who have been drinking’ will have drunk enough to be insensible. But that’s not the case - it just means anyone who has any level of alchohol in their blood at all, they could have just drunk one glass of wine. The fact is a lot of women who are raped will encounter the rapist in a social situation like a party or nightclub, where (coincidentally)they have been drinking. But they would most likely still be raped if they were sober. It’s just that in some situations where women are likely to be raped, it’s usual to drink. The drinking doesn’t cause the rape, the rapist causes the rape.
Polly, thanks, I didn’t know that about the posters or the stats. Again, further illumination. I’ll update my post to reflect that information.
Well the deception is intentional, if you ask me, so it’s unsurprising that you were confused by the posters (this campaign has been running for over a year in the UK so we’re well versed in what it’s about). But as Homer Simpson would say - “you can prove anything with statistics, 14%of people know that”
Lceel, I wish it were only the crazy men who were raping, but it isn’t. Date rape isn’t perpetrated by the crazies. Group rapes on campuses, in bars, at parties, etc aren’t perpetrated by the crazies. The rape of “comfort women” supplied to our own military through trafficking and enslavement isn’t perpetrated by the crazies.
But I get what you’re saying, and believe me, I’m glad you feel that way. Now if we could only clone your brain and implant it into others we’d be all set.
What we CAN do is to speak up and refuse to support things that contribute to the idea that rape is just a natural urge for men, that they can’t control themselves, and that women should either supply it or it will “justifiably” be taken.
This is a complex issue, and I see that now. I didn’t before. Once you start looking into this stuff, you find yourself sucked down the rabbit hole, and trust me, it ain’t pretty.
We really need to start changing our basic attitudes. The same way we did with smoking. Remember how we did that? How we went from a culture that thought it was soooo cool to smoke, and then we made it uncool to smoke? Like that.
Polly, intentional or not isn’t even the total issue. In my opinion though, that makes this poster even WORSE. Ugh.
I agree so whole heartedly and have been wracking my brain on how to do this. How do we have a anti-rape campaign that is proactive rather than reactive? Can we set our selves against rape by only telling the potential victims what not to do? This does seem to put blame by simply saying “if you do such and such you will set yourself up to be raped.” Is it any surprise that the victims blame themselves? But how can we be proactive without being realistic? Maybe that isn’t important. Maybe taking the step to be proactive is the first step.
Your blog just generated a blog post on my website