Confessions of a Teenage Mother OR Velvet Verbosity Suffers from Ephebiphobia
Ephebiphobia - the fear of teenagers.
The Surgeon General warns that teenagers can be hazardous to your sanity. Only you’ve never seen this warning because it’s branded onto their backsides and even though the boys wear their pants around their knees and girls’ low-rise jeans reveal more than a thong bikini, you, their parent, will never have the right to look there again. And that would be fine and good if it wasn’t that you also aren’t allowed to look directly at their face for more than .5 seconds, you’re not allowed to expect that your favorite shirts won’t disappear, to have any of the snackfood in the house, or to breathe in the wrong way because you’re annoying them. If you’re wondering why you didn’t ever notice the Surgeon General’s warning when they were still in diapers, that’s because it’s kind of like that etching on the One Ring. The warning only shows up under conditions of extreme hormonal fluctuation. And that, my friends, is the real truth about why they wear through their jeans so fast.
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I understand completely. I really do. I can’t count the number of times I walked into the house to find that my lovely Annie had disowned her children and started the conversation with “Your son” followed by a laundry list of grievances, both real and imagined going all the way back to the day he was born. I would listen, find the recalcitrant child, beat him severely about the head and shoulders until he cried ‘Uncle’ and then return him, bowed and broken, to the sympathetic arms of his loving mother who would then let me know, in no uncertain terms, that I had been way too harsh with ‘Her Son’. And I would walk away, secretly smiling to myself.
I’m sorry you don’t have that other adult to bounce them off of. It makes it so much easier.
You know? That actually made my eyes tear up.
I really do understand, all kidding aside. Annie’s sister Mary has recently divorced and she is going through hell - on a number of different levels. She has twin daughters that will be 10 on the 23rd and a 14 year old that won’t eat - she’s lost 22 pounds since August. The twins fight, constantly, and then there’s the issue with the 14 year old. Between that and an idiot ex that won’t quit drinking or see his kids (or pay child support, for that matter) they have all conspired to give Mary a real hard row to hoe. Annie and I help as much as we can, but they live 2 hours away and it isn’t easy yo be there more than an occasional weekend. I call Mary EVERY DAY, so I am intimately aware of what she’s going through - my heart goes out to any suddenly single Mom. It’s not a way that I would be able to live - I don’t know how you guys do it.
The truth is I think that without support, most single parents don’t really do it all that well. Not for lack of want, but because it’s the nature of the whole situation. Children were never meant to be raised by one person, and I don’t care how organized, or sane, or saintly someone is, one person just can’t produce enough time, energy, patience, sanity, and money for all the various needs of a family.
I’m not newly single, though I can relate a little too closely with Mary’s story. It’s great to hear that she has family that really understands support is needed.
Thank you for sharing all that with me.
Proof that amazingly surly and horrible teenagers can grow up into thoughtful and lovely adults–I have finally gotten you added back on as clicky-linky on my blog! The discussions about my lack of HS diploma, car thieving and counterfeiting are best left to some other time.
Oh I know. Every time one of them has brought me to the brink of exasperation, I just think to myself, “ttractor….ttractor…it’s going to be just fine in the end.”
Thanks for adding me!
As a teenager I was a one man wrecking crew. I am afraid to see how karma kicks my butt.